What They Don't Tell You.......

As I sit with my youngest child whom is 4 yrs old, I wonder why didn't they tell me about how having a child really is going to be? I'm not new at this my oldest will be 20 in a few months. It's just that no one tells you the truth about being a parent. It's not all rainbows smiles and giggles. It's sleepless nights followed by long days of pleading with a small human being who can go all day with a 10 minute power nap. You aren't told how you will be puked on peed on and just be a walking talking tissue. They do tell you "Oh a child will change your life" they just dont say how. Like getting a shower everyday is mostly a fantasy. You wont get to go potty by yourself and your vocabulary will change. People who have children dont tell you the nasty side of parenthood because they had to go into it blind and they want you to share in that soul shaking experience. There are those wonderful moments that you get from your children, which is why you are willing to have more than 1 child. And you want to make sure that there isnt something wrong with your first born.
I honestly think there should be a book or something on true parenthood. All the honest to goodness parts of being a parent. Not a how to change a diaper kind but "I didnt feed you anything that looked or smelled like that" kind.

Have You Seen My Get Up and Go?

It wasnt that long ago I would get up take the kids to school then come home clean up the house. Now it seems to take everything I have to wake up then drag myself to the car and get kids to school. I know cleaning is a chore but it seems even more of a chore than it did just a yr ago. I could whip through the house cleaning it from top to bottom in a few hours. Now it takes me a few hours to clean a room or two. I know you slow down with age, but dang I aint old.
I just need to turn on the radio get my grove going and get to getting.

What Do You Have To Hide?

So far 3 states are going to start drug testing before you can receive government assistance. There are some that think this is wrong that children will be the ones hurt in this action. I believe that its a great idea. Why should tax payers pay for others to get their fix instead taking care of their children? If they fail the drug test then an investigation into the welfare of the children should be started. There are children that are already going without because of their "caregiver" using the assistance for other than its intended purpose.
Only people getting upset with this, as far as I can tell, are those who know they would fail the test. If you are trying to take care of your family doing everything you can, but still need assistance fine. But if you are using your assistance to get your fix then there is a problem.
 Addiction is an illness, I understand that. I  know that it can overtake you, but I also know there are things you can do to overcome addictions. Maybe the threat of having your government assistance being taken away will make these people see the light. That they have a problem and need to get help so they can take care of their families. Who knows maybe if they get off the drugs they could get off assistance.
You never know what you are able to do until you try. Some just need a little push into trying. I say drug test them and give them that push.

5 hours away

Even though you are at least 5 hours away you still made me cry, but in a good way. You helped me remember the feelings from childhood that could destroy a lesser person. I am glad I had you there to make me strong. You helped me remember that we have the most amazing wonderful fabulous caring loving giving, there arent enough words or the exact words to describe our Mom. You are my big brother, Mark Allen Nelson, and I love and thank you......oh and miss you

Not Always Wrong

I know I am not always right, but I also know I'm not always wrong either. I have made mistakes. I need to learn to let some things go but it's really hard. I know my family is never going to be the Cleavers. I would like it a bit closer to the Cleavers rather than the craziness it is. I know I say and do things that hurt I am sorry for that. I have been hurt too. There are times I feel like my only use in this family is to cook clean be a taxi and buy stuff for others. I am a person too. I would love to have help with the cooking and the cleaning. If I got that help without asking screaming or flipping out for it I would be in a better mood. I wouldnt mind so much when asked to drive some where or to buy something.
I dont know what I can do to make things better. I can just hope and pray things work out for the best.

Where Did I Go Wrong?

I gave birth to you. I feed you changed you and dressed you. I raised you to the best of my ability. I dont know why I get treated like I have done you wrong. You have a home food clothes and extra stuff. But thats never enough for you. You always want more, but you arent willing to do anything for any of it. You want to act as if you are the Queen and we are here to serve you. All you have to do is go to school pay attention to your child and pull your head out of your ass.
I dont get a list of things that need done, I just see it needs done and do it. You are old enough to figure out that if its dirty clean it or wash it. If its trash throw it away. Why is it so hard for you to understand? I am over the laziness ungratefulness and rudeness that I get from you. So you can either pull your head out of your ass or find a new address and someone else to buy your shit and run you everywhere.

A&T....."I can take care of that for you" part 2

After 2hours and 48 minutes on the phone with AT&T today I still dont think problem is resolved. They dont want to stand up and say "We messed up". Some how I get the blame for them creating 2 accounts for me only mailing me a bill for one of those accounts. It so bothersome how they treat you. I miss the days where the company would put the customer first instead of their pocket book.
I ended up talking to a total of 8 different people today "customer service", billing, and collections. None smarter than the last. It just amazes me how they act so caring but pretty much are like "Fu*% Off".  When I worked in customer service you went above and beyond to make sure that customer was very happy. You want return customers. I guess being multi million dollar company you really dont have to care if you lose one little account.
Really how hard is it to do your job? And do it correctly. Well if you work for AT&T you dont have to do your job right. You can blame it on another "customer service" person or hell just blame customer.
I hope pray beg and plea that today was my last day talking to AT&T about this.